Friday, 22 February 2008

Plan B

Back in third year of college when I was slogging for CAT, I used to get asked what I'd do if I didn't make it. My back-up plan basically involved lying low till I was 30, trying not to do too much damage to my liver, and wait until all my contemporaries at college hit it big, at which point I'd write a semi-autobiographical book, full of veiled references, innuendo and snarky remarks about all of them. Sort of like 'The Class' meets Shobha De meets 'The Dilbert Principle'. Maybe even throw in some junk about elephants and beggars and Random Phrases capitalized for No Apparent Reason, just for the Booker crowd. Once that came out, I could get onto the Page-3 bandwagon for a while, eating one free meal a day at some party or other and air-kissing with the best of them. Give that a couple of years, gather up enough material, then write another tell-all book which would get me kicked off the party circuit. By this time I'd also find a cause to espouse- I'm guessing Arundhati Roy would be forgotten by then, so there'd be a a niche there that could need to be filled. Another few years of rabble-rousing, denouncing capitalism and so on, then on to the next step - spiritualism (with the customary tell-all book punctuating the shift). My liver would probably need the break by then. After that, I don't know - maybe a couple of books after that where I ask for forgiveness from all the people I've bitched about until then. Things get a little hazy around that point.
So I was thinking about this recently while putting up all these blog posts, and I figured I'm still pretty much on track. It's up to all of you guys now to hit it big. And don't forget to put up embarrassing tidbits about yourself on facebook while you're becoming successful. Remember, I'll be taking notes.


  1. Haha. Nice post. I'm pretty sure that people I know will become famous/powerful.

    Krishna Omkar (do you remember him?) was described as a "fop" by the Times, because of some Oxford Union rumpus that he was at the centre of. Amazing.

    I'm already into spiritualism, so I guess it's all downhill from here!

  2. Of course I remember Oinker. He's on my friend-list on facebook. :-)