The Elder Cousin's Guidelines on Drinking

Back in college, Adit and I came up with a set of guidelines for drinking (fairly) responsibly. They were for a cousin, not for ourselves, of course - we did the research to come up with them. Having done a fair bit of R & D then as well as subsequently, I figure it is now time to put up a slightly expanded list for the benefit of a wider audience (also, I'm a little bereft of stuff to blog about). I originally planned on mailing this out to a couple of cousins only, but then I figured this way I could invite anyone who reads this blog (yes, all 4.5 of you) to put in your suggestions in the comments and build up this list even further. Besides, this way I can direct my cousins here and increase my readership.

So, without further ado, here are my Guidelines on Drinking:

1. Never drink on an empty stomach: Fairly obvious; it lowers your resistance, also makes you feel worse the next day
2. Make sure you keep yourself hydrated: That means drinking enough water, not adding a little Sprite to your vodka
3. Don't mix your drinks: Alcohol is alcohol any which way once it gets into your system (unless it's Lady Di vodka, in which case it's repackaged paint thinner); the issue with mixing your drinks is that it can mess up your estimate of how much alcohol you've imbibed, and accordingly, how much more you can take
4. Your 'capacity' is not an absolute number: See 1-3 above - all of them make a difference to how drunk you get. Also, lack of sleep, fatigue, stress, etc can mean your threshold is lower. Watch it.
5. Value quality over quantity: Even (especially) if someone else is paying. It will taste better going down, you'll feel better the next day, and you can claim it's part of your 'education'. None of that holds true for Bonnie Scot.
6. If you think you're good for another 2 drinks, stop now: Once you've got some booze inside, you're likely to overestimate your singing abilities, sense of humour and sex appeal. What makes you think you can estimate your capacity correctly?
7. Take a Disprin and a Digene before you sleep: The Digene will help calm the stomach, the Disprin calms the head. More importantly, get sleep.
8. Drink with people you can trust: It's safer, less embarrassing, and more fun. It's an added bonus if there's someone who can carry you home (trust me on that).
9. Sometimes it's better to let it out than to keep it in: The booze, not your feelings for your crush from class 5.
10. It's never just about getting drunk. Enjoy the experience: Even if you don't believe that, it's the kind of gyaan you should come up with when you're drinking. That way you don't come across as a potential alcoholic.

Bonus Guideline: If you do get drunk, try not to walk off on your own in the middle of the night.

(That last one will have to be explained face-to-face, in strict confidence.)